Michael Cain Speads Marmalade Myth.

Within the hour on Michael Parkinson's final talk show, highly respected oscar winning actor Michael Cain spoke of his wide ranging knowledge of obscure facts.

When the rambling Parkie asked for an example, he proceeded to spread the myth that the word marmalade derived from servants caring for Mary Queen of Scots in times of great illness.

'Not a lot of people know that'. No Michael, they don't - because it is not true.

I am a fan of your work, but spreading this prime-time falsehood has put you in the Marmlord's bad books.

You are a big man but you are out of shape......................

Paddington's Marmalade fight-back in the global war on Marmite.

In the early hours of this morning news reached Marmaland of a 'fight back'.......

Carlos Michelsen sent some very interesting news from Peru, a company called Andersons Food Peru S.A.C. (http://www.paddingtonbearperu.com/) will attempt to reposition Marmalade as the preserve of choice for Paddington.

This will be done from Paddington's homeland where Andersons Food have recently signed a contract to produce the famous Bear's marmalade according to his original recipe in Peru. The company already has plans to export to the USA and Canada.

This will be the first ever Paddington Bear Marmalade to formally be produced in Peru, and Carlos who is is in charge of International Marketing has promised that the first batch will be sent here to Marmaland.

The war with Marmite is global, but here on the homefront the Marmalord is taking his issues to the agency behind the recent hijacking of Paddington. It appears that advertising agency DDB London are responsible. And Chief Executive Stephen Woodford stephen.woodford@ddblondon.com can expect an initial letter from the Marmalord in the next couple of days - expect an update soon, and feel free to drop Mr Woodford an email if you wish to share your views.

Marmite Rape Paddington Bear.

Tonight the world will see Paddington Bear animated on our screens for the first time in 20 years.

However, instead of marmalade manufacturers making the obvious decision to bring back Michael Bonds Peruvian bear themselves, which would no doubt have helped bolster flagging marmalade sales with a younger audience (81% of marmalade consumption from a demographic of 45+) - they have instead allowed him to be pillaged by Marmite.

Not only is this a missed opportunity for promoters of marmalade, fans of the bear himself have been weak to allow this.

Karen Jankel, of Paddington and Company Ltd claims....

"There certainly were reservations until we realised the idea behind it - Paddington trying something different. The thought of Paddington changing to Marmite would be wrong because he's so wedded to marmalade and will continue to be so.
"But Paddington is always interested in trying new things and that's why he gets into the scrapes he does."

So it seems that Karen's defence is 'Paddington is always interested in trying new things that's why he gets into scrapes'. Are we seriously expected to believe that Paddington, after twenty years in the stop-frame animation wilderness suddenly fancied trying something new and went with selling his sole for a big fat cheque from Unilever?

I don't want to make too much of this until I have had time to see the advert for myself, take stock of the situation and come up with some sort of response strategy - but I assure you there will be response.

And if you are the overpaid, sun-dried tomato eating, loser who sat crossed legged on a bean bag in the creative department of whatever ad agency thought this crock of shit up, then be warned.........

The Marmalord is coming for you.

Marmalord recruits side-kick

With the MarmaLada just a few weeks from being on the road, the Marmalord decided now was the time to get his 'Robin'.

Looking like a cross between an eighties wrestler and a Fathers for Justice campaigner, here is a 'first look' at the man they call..............The Marma-lad.

'Spreading' the word - Epsom Derby 2007

July 2007, Epsom Derby.

A rare day away from the war against the Lemon Curds.